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Why I Will Never Stop Going to Goth Clubs

Why Are Goth Clubs So Cool?

I am a responsible adult. I’m 42, married, and have a rambunctious 6 year old little boy. I work at a stressful job 50 hours a week and don’t get much of a chance to relax and unwind. So once a month I like to get dressed up and go out dancing by myself for a few hours. But I don’t go to just any old dance clubs. I love the Goth clubs! In fact I have been going to Goth Clubs for over 20 years and have no intention of stopping anytime soon.

And I am going to share with you all of the reasons why I love Goth clubs so much and give you a little peek into this scene that is so near and dear to my heart.

Why I'll Never Stop Going to Goth Clubs

What REALLY goes on at Goth Clubs? Here is an inside look at what makes Goth Clubs so cool. It's probably not for the reasons you expect... Click To Tweet

How it all started for me…

When I was a kid growing up in Los Angeles in the 80s, my passion was dancing.

I religiously watched shows like Solid Gold, Dance Fever, and American Bandstand and knew I wanted to be a dancer just like them when I grew up.

But around the time that MTV first aired on cable, there was this one little syndicated show called MV3 (kudos to ANYONE who remembers this little gem) featuring the 80’s alternative DJ Richard Blade, that showed teenagers dancing to new wave artists like Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran, and The Cure.

Who remembers MV3?
Who remembers MV3? Photo image from IMDB.

I thought the dancers wore the coolest clothes and had the craziest hair colors and styles. I was fascinated by the look and the sounds of pure electronic music. I just wanted to be like them soo badly!

New Wave music in the 80s was amazing.
New Wave music in the 1980s was amazing.

But alas I was 8, and much too young to go to clubs. So I was relegated to watching them on TV and dancing in my room in front of the mirror.

Changing with the times…

Flash forward 10 years to 1992. I was 18 and finally old enough to go to some of the 18+ clubs in Hollywood. It was like a dream come true.

At the time I was really into heavy metal, but in the 90’s the metal scene was changing and grunge was starting to make it’s appearance along with a sound I had never heard of before called Industrial Music.

For people who don’t know what Industrial Music is, this is my definition: Angry Techno. Basically it’s heavy electronic music with darker lyrics discussing depressing topics like war and death.

Nine Inch Nails blew up the scene in the 90s
Photo credit: Nine Inch Nails Official via / CC BY-NC-SA

I remember being at this one club in Hollywood,CA where I was introduced to bands like Nirvana, Alice in Chains, and Nine Inch Nails (one of the few Industrial artists to ever hit the mainstream).

But there was this one song that came on that completely changed my life. It was from a band called Ministry and the song was called “Burning Inside“.

This song was so heavy, and energetic, and so…angry! I was not an angry kid (ok maybe I was a little), but it just woke something inside my soul. From that day on, I have been obsessed with Industrial Music and the dark subculture that goes along with it.

And that is when I discovered Goth clubs.

Just what IS a Goth?

To be totally honest, I don’t really consider myself a True Goth. I certainly don’t fit the stereotype.

In fact, I find most typical Goth music totally boring. I have a lot of respect for goth legends like Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, and Sisters of Mercy, but for the most part, that genre of music just doesn’t really “move” me.

There are many different subgenres of Goth
Photo credit: Christian Vilar via / CC BY-NC-ND

But since so many people don’t know anything about the various Goth subcultures, it’s just easier to classify myself and the clubs I frequent under the general umbrella of “Goth”. If I had to put myself into a category, I consider myself to be more of a “Rivethead.”

There are so many different types of “Goths” (which I will save for another post) but one thing we all have in common is a love of all things dark – dark music, dark movies, and dark topics.

The truth about Goths

  1. Fact: Goths are not all devil worshippers.
    Goths come in all religions. Some of us are Athiests, Agnostic, Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Wiccan, Pagan, etc. And you know what? As long as it is not pushed on us, nobody in the Goth scene really gives a crap.

    Goths are not all devil worshipers. Although this design is quite beautiful
    Goths do not all worship Satan.
  2. Fact: Goths are not always depressed.
    That’s right. Many of us are normal well-adjusted people with full-time jobs and families. Even though some of us may like to dress like we are going to a funeral, it’s more about self expression.There is one thing that probably does make us depressed however. Paying bills.

    Goths are not always depressed. We just like to dress that way.
    Goths are not always depressed. We just like to dress that way.
  3. Fact: Goths do not always wear black.
    Black IS a common theme among goths, however some of us like to mix it up with other colors as well. Personally I love dark jewel tones like burgundy and purple. I’ve even worn red from head to toe. But there are goths who wear pink, silver, and even white! Granted, the girl I saw in white was wearing a wedding dress, but it was still white all the same and it was fabulous!
    Goths don't only wear black
    Goths don’t ALWAYS wear black. Photo credit: Danny Sotzny [] via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC
  4. Fact: Goths are not violent.
    Most goths are inherently peaceful. They enjoy art, architecture, literature, and even comedy. Some of us have a fascination with serial killers and death, but I believe it is more of an intellectual curiosity. Most of us would rather just read or watch movies about these topics than actually do anything about it. We get out our aggression on the dance floor!

    Goths love reading about serial killers. But are not violent themselves.
    We love reading and watching TV about serial killers. But that doesn’t make us violent. Photo credit: Dyl86 via / CC BY
  5. Fact: Goth is not always just a phase.
    There may be a few goths who “experimented” in high school and grew out of it eventually. For many goths (especially us old-school goths) it is an expression of who we are. I won’t go so far as to sleep in a coffin or decorate my home with black lace and velvet (it’s just not my personal taste), but I do still love my 20 year old big black combat boots and wear these adorable skull hair clips in my burgundy hair every chance I get.

    My 20 year old pair of combat boots. They have been through a lot!
    My 20 year old pair of combat boots. They have been through a lot!

Why I love the Goth Clubs…

They are NOT mainstream.

Goth clubs are much different from regular night clubs. But most goth clubs play a variety of music like EBM, Industrial, and Dark Wave to name a few.

Most songs you will hear at Goth clubs will never be played on the radio – and that’s how we like it!

You will not hear Top 40 music at a goth club. If you want to dance to this type of music, this is not your place.

Goth Clubs are not Meat Markets
Photo credit: Kurt Komoda via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-ND

Goth clubs are not meat markets.

People don’t typically go to Goth clubs to get laid. I mean, if you are going there for that purpose and happen to get lucky, then congrats. But for the most part, Goth clubs are a fairly safe space where a woman can go out by herself and not worry about getting hit on.

I mean, sure it happens, but other Goths usually understand and respect your space. Although I would NEVER suggest leaving your drink unattended. That is just poor judgement.

We dance alone and respect each other’s personal space.

This is not the type of club where bumping and grinding is appreciated. Yuck! Just don’t stand around on the dance floor. That will piss everyone off.

No standing on the dance floor
Grinding is not welcome. But neither is standing on the dance floor like this dude. Go find a corner or something! Photo credit: echobase_2000 via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

All religions, races, genders (and trans genders) are welcome.

You can wear whatever you want, and nobody will judge you. In fact, the crazier the better!

Well, unless you come in wearing a cowboy hat and spurs – yeah, you will get funny looks. But even if you do come in wearing a cowboy hat, as long as you are having a good time and not judging anyone else, then YOU will be welcome as well.

All are welcome at the Goth Clubs. Even Furries!
All are welcome at the Goth Clubs. Even Furries! We don’t judge.

Goths share a connection.

Goths can be of any age. In fact, I often meet a lot of people my own age or older at the goth clubs. And I think it’s awesome!

Some of the Baby Bats (brand new to the Goth scene), might look down on Old-School Goths (which isn’t very Goth-like, children).  But for the most part, I think Elder Goths are generally respected.

We are the ones who have been going to the clubs for years. We have helped shape the scene into what it is today. And we still share the same love, respect, and appreciation of the music scene that brought us all together.

Why I go to Goth Clubs alone…

It would be cool if my husband was into this type of thing, but he is quite anti-social and this just isn’t his bag. We have been together for 16 years and he trusts me (as he should). So I go alone.

And you know what? It’s absolutely liberating! I don’t have to worry about whether or not my guest is having a good time and I can come and go as I please. I can dance whenever the mood strikes, or I can go outside and mingle with the crowd. I also don’t have to babysit anyone if they get too drunk. What a bummer that would be.

Plus I have made so many friends this way, I usually always run into someone I know. But even if I feel a little awkward and don’t have anyone to talk to, I can just chill out by myself and just enjoy the scenery. And if I don’t want to be bothered, I just pull out my phone and Facebook for a bit. The best part is, nobody looks at me funny. No one cares!

And here I am loving the Goth Clubs!
Here I am loving the Goth Clubs with some of my best friends!

There is just something so mysterious and beautiful being surrounded by a bunch of freaks who all share this common bond. We go there to dress up, dance to obscure music, and escape our daily lives for just a few hours.

I’m still a responsible adult. I’m still a devoted wife and mother. But for 3 hours a month I allow myself the freedom to be myself with my people. And this is why I will never stop going to Goth clubs.

Have you ever been to a Goth Club? What is your opinion of Goths and Goth culture? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Disclosure: I received this product complimentary for review but all opinions are my own. I was not compensated for writing this post, but it does contains affiliate links which means I may be compensated a small amount if you click-through and purchase. Full disclosure policy here.**

Published inRants and Rambles


  1. I loved reading this! Where are you? ??let’s go together! !

    • Hi Sally. I live in Phoenix AZ. There are lots of cool clubs out here. If you’re ever in the neighborhood, hit me up!

  2. One of my daughters was into the Goth scene so this was not new to me! I will have to share this with her. I think she’d enjoy it

  3. I didn’t know such thing even existed, but I’m in the Midwest and I don’t think we have that anywhere here.

  4. YES!!! I want to go to a goth club with you! I used to go all the time when I was younger, now I don’t even know where I would find one. Sounds like so much fun and I love dressing up goth.

  5. I have never been to a Goth club. Here in Vienna we have a lot of people in the Goth scene. Sadly, there are often judged by the way they dress or the colour of their hair. They are not judged by their morals or character which is sad. I can relate to this article as I have been judged a lot in life just for being black. Was so happy to read the facts, and will share this for others who do not already know and may pass judgement. I ESPECIALLY love the Bee outfit 🙂 I am sure you can guess why.

    • Thank you. I’m glad to be able to clear up any misconceptions.

  6. That would be great. I’d love to know what she thinks 🙂

  7. This was so interesting! I really enjoyed hearing about your experiences and seeing your cool outfits. You rock! Thanks for sharing the ins and outs.

  8. Jeanine Jeanine

    Very cool. Never been to a goth club myself but I think it would be neat to experience!

  9. i think it’s fun if you can go alone and still feel like you have another family. It’s so cool, i remember going to clubs in NYC, Webster Hall, years ago and the club looks like the one you go to. But, so much fun.

  10. Kyla Kyla

    I’ve never been to a goth club but I can see the appeal for the many reasons you stated but mostly because I love to dress up and not care what other people think!

  11. I think it’s great that you have an outlet to go and have some time for yourself. You’ll get no judging from me. I have plenty of friends into the goth scene and they have a lot of fun clubbing. 🙂

  12. I grew up in New Orleans where there is no shortage of goth clubs. Went often and was totally fine going by myself.

  13. How interesting! I admit, I’ve never been in a goth club, but it sounds like a fun time!

  14. I haven’t read anyone try to define Goth before! It was such a phase in the 90’s that was popular. My brother considered himself a goth.

  15. Dana Vento Dana Vento

    This looks really fun event! I’ve never been in goth clubs! But next time I will.

  16. This is cool! Everyone has passion on things. You on Goth Clubs, others might be being Lolita, either way, dressing up are so cool!

  17. You go girl and do not stop because this is good for the soul. I have learnt a lot about Goths before.

  18. Not sure what a goth club is but after reading your post, have some idea. And yes, I don’t understand these things.

  19. Very interesting! I have never been into clubs in general but your article was quite insightful on just how goth clubs are.

  20. This sounds like something I would enjoy doing. I never even knew Goth clubs existed. But I really like the idea of freedom dancing alone and not getting hit on.

  21. First, you are absolutely adorable in your outfits! You definitely taught me a lot. I never considered anyone not wearing black, goth. I also love the fact that you get to dance alone. I WISH men were more aware of this phenomenon that I just like to veg out and do me. Keep doing you!

  22. Good for you for doing what you love!! That is what makes you such a strong person!

  23. Rochelle SC Rochelle SC

    I’ll be hitting a Dallas club that has Industrial/Goth night every Sunday… haven’t been in over 20 years and am so excited! You have truly inspired me to consider making it a monthly thing if it’s as great as it was back in the 90s for me!

    • That is awesome! I find that going out at least once a month helps save my sanity. When I started hitting the clubs out here in Phx, I was surprised to see that many of the regulars are old school goths like us who also want to relive the 90s. LOL! Some of us are just diehards I guess. Let me know how it goes 🙂

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