To Be a Man for a Day…
I have often wondered what it would be like to be a man for a day. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman. But being a woman comes with certain challenges and often times it just seems like men have it so much easier. Don’t believe me? Here is why I think it would be so cool to be a man for a day…
If you were a man for a day you could:
1. Grow out your body and facial hair. Hairy armpits, legs, and face come with the territory. Say goodbye to tweezing, waxing, or shaving. Who ever thought that was a good idea anyway?
2. Make 20 something more cents on the dollar for doing the same job. And with enough green, you could grow old, fat and bald and still nab a hot chick.
3. Lose 10lbs in a week. And if you do get fat? Just stop drinking soda for 3 days. Poof! All gone. Everyone knows that men lose weight so much quicker than women. I can diet and exercise until I’m blue in the face for weeks only to get discouraged when I see that I actually gained 2 lbs. WTH?
4. Pack lightly. Going on a trip? All you need is a backpack and you’re set. Makes flying super easy and you don’t even need to check your luggage. When I have to go on a trip – even for as little as 48 hours, I need at least two suitcases just for my makeup.
5. Start snoring the minute your head hits the pillow. Or the couch. Or the floor. I swear men can sleep anywhere at any time. I would give anything to be able to turn off my brain when I go to bed. And if the kid wakes up in the middle of the night, forget about it. It takes at least another hour to fall back asleep.
6. Get ready in 10 minutes. Think of how much time you could save! I don’t even wear that much makeup, but it still takes me 30 mins to shower, another hour to dry and style my hair, and then another 20 mins to do my makeup. That’s almost 2 hours, people! And I haven’t even begun to look for something to wear…
7. Always have something to wear. Men only really need like 10 articles of clothing. As long as they have clean socks and underwear for every day of the week, they’re set. But if you are anything like me you probably have a closet full of clothes and still can’t find anything to wear. Not only is my closet full, but I also take up 3/4 of the dresser I share with my husband. Meh. He doesn’t need that much space anyway.
8. Have lots of friends and no drama. Let’s be honest. Women are competitive and often catty. We all know a woman who just loves to gossip and talk smack about their friends. Maybe you are guilty of that yourself. We are emotional beings and we love drama. If we are not getting that exhilaration in our personal lives, we can fulfill that need with reality TV. But men? They can just sit there and watch a game and drink beer. Except for the occasional cursing and shouting at the guy who just fumbled, there is no other conversation necessary. No drama. Must be nice…
9. Spend less than $15 for a haircut. Women have to spend on average $60-$200 for our hair. And even after all that dying and styling, it is still so hard to keep it healthy. And for those men who like to wear their hair long? It’s always gorgeous, healthy, and shiny. Because they don’t ever need to do anything to it! And it’s not fair.
10. Never wait in line for the bathroom. Or even use a bathroom for that matter. They can just whip it out and go wherever and whenever they need to. When us women are at a concert, club, or amusement park, the line is always a half a mile long. And when you REALLY have to go, this is not fun. Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to pee standing up?
Well guess what? Now we can. And let me tell you about a crazy product I recently tried that can allow you to see what it is like to be a man for a day! Well at least just the peeing part. It’s called P-Thing and it is a female urination device that lets you pee standing up! I just couldn’t resist the opportunity to test this out for myself and here are my results.
My husband is always giving me grief when we go on road trips because I have to use the bathroom like every 30 mins. I can’t help the fact that my bladder is the size of a pea! But it does cause me a lot of undue stress. And when I feel the urge coming on, every bump in the road makes it that much worse. I swear I have stopped at every rest stop between AZ to CA to NV and also some really seedy gas stations and restaurants. It is not fun! And because I know how crappy some of these rest stops are, I usually try to hold it until we can make it to the next one. Can I really hold it for the next 40 miles? Um…40 miles can take a REALLY long time. And sometimes the answer is no.
I have actually had to find a bush to squat behind on the side of the road because I couldn’t last that long. That is SO not fun. Especially when your stream has a mind of it’s own and wants to go in different directions and ends up on your shoes, your pants, etc. and then you have to worry about getting stung by scorpions or snakes or other nasty things that live in that desert brush. Also it’s embarrassing! What if the cars on the side of the road are blinded by your shiny hiney? It is times like this when I have wished that I could have a ding dong, so that I could just unzip and go anywhere anytime. So when I had the opportunity to try out this Female Urination device complimentary for review, I thought this could be a brilliant idea!
This product is very interesting. It comes in a long thin plastic bag and the item itself is a very flexible blue rubber funnel kind of thing. It is extremely soft and squishy. The instructions say to practice in the bathtub, but I didn’t feel like getting completely undressed to try it out. This is how my first experience went:
I was wearing jeans that day, so I pulled down my pants, put the cup under my hoo-ha and let ‘er rip. I did not realize just how flexible the cup was and it actually spilled all over the place and I got my pants and my hands wet. Yikes! That was stupid.
But I’m not a quitter, so on my next go I actually took my pants all the way off and tried again, this time carefully positioning the cup to make sure it would not spill everywhere. But it did work and everything made it safely into the toilet. Since it goes down the funnel, there is a slight delay between the time you are going and the time that it lands in the toilet. Keep that in mind when you are removing the cup! You want to make sure all of the contents are empty before removing it or else you might wind up with wet pants.
A few issues I have with using a product like this is that you still have to wipe when you are done. You can’t just shake and dry like the boys do. And second, you will still need to wash it after you use it. So if you are not anywhere near running water, the thing will have pee on it until the next time you can wash it. Definitely save the plastic bag that it comes in!
Overall, it is such a strange feeling, but also very liberating! Will it replace my usual bathroom habits? No. Plus how weird would it look in public to have other women see your feet pointed towards the bowl under the stall. But I think this is a great idea to have in a pinch and perfect for long road trips. I’m going to keep it stashed in my glove box for an emergency.
You can find this P-Thing on Amazon for around $12.
While there are a lot of really cool things I could do if I were a man for a day, I would never want to give up being a woman. Women get away with so much! We can easily score free drinks, get out of tickets, live longer, wear the best clothes, blame things on our period, and have a higher pain tolerance. But that is also why women are only ones who can bear children. Seriously, even men aren’t “man enough” to handle that and that’s okay.
What would you do if you could be a man for a day? Leave me a comment and let me know!
Disclosure: This product was received complimentary in exchange for my honest review, but all opinions are my own. I was not compensated for writing this post, but it does contains affiliate links which means I may be compensated a small amount if you click through and purchase. Full disclosure policy here.**